Classic AJ Lines:

Classic AJ Lines
  Billy Warlock played AJ Quartermaine on General Hospital. This is a compliation of some of the classic AJ lines.

May - August 2002:
AJ (to Edward): Michael is my son! You understand that? My son, not yours. I will get him back, with no help from you, and I will raise him under my roof, not yours, and not our family.

Skye: That you really love Courtney. When did that happen?
AJ: It wasn't one specific thing that changed my feelings, Skye. I wasn't even paying attention. My objective was to get Michael back, and Courtney was a means to that end. It didn't register with me that everyone in her life and mine was telling her I was scum and that she should bail on me. She didn't. Instead, she looked at me with love and respect and belief. And, of course, arrogantly, I assumed it was because i was smooth and clever. But then after grandfather took everything i had, that look didn't change. How could I possibly not love Courtney back?
Skye: You do realize that you'll probably lose her if you start looking for your reflection in the bottom of a martini glass.
AJ: It kills me that i have nothing to offer her, Skye. I mean, I was once the guy that could lay the world at her feet, and now look at me. It's hard to swallow, believe me.
Skye: AJ, Courtney loves you for who you are inside, not because you're rich or you're poor. That makes you lucky.

Courtney: So, that was your brother?
AJ: That's him.
Courtney: He's a little strange.

Courtney: Sorry to barge in. We just didn't expect to find the entire family in one room together.
Ned: Command performance. We're all awaiting some mysterious and momentous event.
AJ: I guess our invitation got lost in the mail. All heirs disinherited need not apply.
Monica: AJ, This is Edward's doing, but your father and I are very pleased to see you.
AJ: Are you pleased to see my wife?
Jax: I am. How are you, Courtney?

AJ: Whoa! Hold on, hold on. Let me get something straight here -- you see, I am currently being investigated by the federal government, thanks to grandfather. I was disinherited, tossed out on the street with my wife and no one cares. But Jason was cruelly forced to come spend a little quality time with the family, and this is totally unforgivable?

AJ: I mean, this guy shoots people, and you make excuses! All of you! Well, Jase, I guess that's the secret, right, man? Unbelievable. Well, you know what? At least now, you'll all be happy to know that I have finally stepped into the right direction.
Monica: Wait, AJ, Where did you get that?
AJ: Stole it. Yeah, that's right. I was so desperate, I snuck into the house like a common criminal. Now, granted, it doesn't quite measure up to a contract killer, but I'm new at this. So tell me, how does vandalism rate, huh?

Edward: You listen to me or your parents, and I will have you arrested!
AJ: Best idea I've heard all day. I'll even be more like Jason. Please call the police.

Courtney: Well, they weren't looking close enough. You're like Rocky, you know? All the odds are against you and all the money is on your family trying to destroy you, but you keep getting up and you keep fighting.
AJ: Rocky lost in the end.
Courtney: Yeah, but he won the girl.
AJ: He loses her in the sequel.
Courtney: She comes back.

Courtney: God, could you believe her attitude? 'But, AJ, You have other skills.'
AJ: Are you kidding me? That's the nicest thing my mother's ever said to me.

March & April 2002:
AJ: Just so we're straight, I'm not talking about visitation and weekends. I'm talking full custody, sonny. And don't worry, I will allow carly to remain in michael's life for his sake. But you? No way. Your adoption? Revoked. And now here's the best part. And this is a deal breaker, my friend. I want to watch while you bring my son home to me, and I want to hear you say, "Michael, this is your father. You're going to be living with him now." You got that? If I don't hear that, if those words don't come out of your mouth, deal's off. And your sister is going to be mine, sharing my bed.
Sonny: You'd better stop right there.
AJ: Oh, I hit a nerve? You held my son hostage in your life. Well, I guess now I'm holding Courtney hostage in mine. You say I can't face you? Well, I'm facing you right now, aren't i? So you better face me. What's it going to be, my son or your sister?

AJ: Can't stop myself. I want to help. No, actually, you know what? It gives me a chance to be near you, which is all I want. You know how I feel. And I realize what I just said put a lot of pressure on you, so forget I just said it, all right?
Courtney: Why? I liked most of it.
AJ: You mean a lot to me. I don't know why, Courtney. It just -- just happened. You value honesty, and I'm just telling you what I feel. I really wish I was better at this. I won't push, but the opportunity to stand up for yourself doesn't come around very often. Now, if you -- if you want me with you, I'm there.

Courtney: You have no idea how much it means to me that you'd do this.
AJ: Well, you know what? You -- you bring things out in me no one has ever. I'm better when I'm with you.

Courtney: I would miss you.
AJ: Wouldn't you know it -- just when I'm starting to get somewhere, I have to skip town. And by the way, I don't think I got a chance to mention this, but you're a very good kisser.
Courtney: Thank you. But I don't think that it was worth what you paid for it.
AJ: Oh, it was worth it, believe me. Come with me.

AJ: Yeah, this is very interesting, you know, through the muck and confusion in life, two people can find each other. I mean, the most unlikely pair, in fact. Like, for instance, your sister and myself, right?
Carly: Ok, don't push it, AJ.
AJ: Well, I mean, look at how this situation has brought you closer together. It's like perfect symmetry, right? I mean, it's -- it's really a beautiful thing. It really is. I mean, love is in the air.


Classic AJ Lines
 
February 2002:
AJ: I'll help you, if you help me.
Skye: Okay, but mine first.
AJ: No, mine first.
Skye: Hey, I asked first!
AJ: Mine will help us both okay?
Skye: Come on.
AJ: Can we just deal with this as adults?
Skye: Well I guess that rules out eeny, meeny, miney moe

AJ: You know Skye, a funny thing happens when you connect your knuckles to a hard surface, it's called "knocking."

AJ: I just want to spend my life with your daughter. Money doesn't matter to me.
Janine: Rich people always say that. It's so cute.

AJ: Skye, the idea here is sincerity, pathos, empathy, ok? Not championship wrestling.
Skye: Oh, please. Save it for Courtney, will you?

Skye: All I want from jax is money and power to make me strong. He won't get anywhere near my heart.
AJ: Just split the difference. Just go to bed with him.
Skye: You're such a romantic.

Courtney: Guys just don't do this sort of thing without expecting something in return.
AJ: I got what I wanted. I love seeing you smile. I love watching your face light up when a normal day becomes christmas morning. I want to be the one who takes care of you.

December 2001 - January 2002:
AJ: Carly, do your doctors at Ferncliff know about these bouts of paranoia?

AJ (to Carly): Last I checked you were the one hiding behind Jax, or excuse me, was that underneath him?

AJ: I can't see Courtney being Sonny's sister. She seems to have a heart.

AJ: What are you doing, huh? Hoping Sonny'll come back and give you a gold star for getting in my face?
Carly: I am trying to remember when we were friends.
AJ: We weren't. You were scamming me, like always.

AJ (to Carly): What about you - hiding in the bushes, playing like you're some wannabe detective? Trying to overhear a little dirt so you can run back to Sonny - maybe get in with him? You know, you can't even take a breath without wondering how that man's gonna react!

AJ (to Carly): I remember when you used to have some pride. What happened? You've hit bottom, you're groveling. Tell me something, how does dirt taste baby, huh?

AJ (to Carly): Touch me again and I will press charges. Shouldn't be too difficult convincing a jury you're a nutcase - a violent nutcase who should be locked up for her own protection. But then again, how would you spy for Sonny from behind bars?

AJ: Tell me, any princes come knocking on your tower door yet?
Courtney: No. There seems to be a shortage of princes these days.
AJ: Actually, there's a shortage of damsels in distress. All us princes are just out of practice.

AJ: There is no news, Skye. And I'm starting to doubt there ever will be. Sonny's still out there doing whatever the hell he wants. Who do you have to pay off to get a break around here, huh?
Skye: I take it you didn't find out where Janine was hiding.
AJ: Sonny's an expert at hiding people. You can't beat him at his own game. It's time for flat-out revenge.

AJ(to Zander): If my sister finally woke up and saw you for the trash you are, that's your fault. You play, you pay.

AJ: Sonny kidnapped a woman named Janine.
Zander: Give me a break. Sonny doesn't go around just kidnapping people.
AJ: And what do you call what he did to me?

AJ: Oh, speaking of surprises, I wonder how grandmother will react when Janine shows up for Christmas dinner.
Edward: I don't know any Janine. Oh, unless you're referring to Skye's friend. And as I told you, that -- that woman is being dealt with -- something about an offer that is too good to refuse. And if she hasn't left town yet, she will and soon.
AJ: Really? Well, I just had dinner with her. She sends her regards. You know, you sided with my worst enemy for nothing. See, your little trixie is safely hidden somewhere even Sonny won't find. so go ahead, live in your fool's paradise while you can because reality's about to hit you smack in the face. Thanks to me, your loser grandson, and Skye, your bastard granddaughter.

Edward: This -- this viciousness, this going for the jugular -- I never thought you had the knack.
AJ: Why, take a bow. Got it from you.
Edward: Who would know that you had such a mean streak? Oh, you're reckless and careless -- everyone knows that. You're petty and self-serving, dishonest, self-pitying. That's old news to me. But this ruthlessness -- oh, it comes as a total surprise, and I like it. I can -- I can make it work, hmm?
AJ: Wake up. Will you? The rules have changed. You see, I'm not here for you to use anymore, grandfather.


 
October 2001:
 AJ (to Skye): You know what? You said that you were going to help me get my son back, and what's your plan so far, hmm? Trying to make out with Jasper Jacks?

Carly: Sonny doesn't need you threatening anyone because he hasn't done anything wrong.
AJ: He never does. You were there. Don't do this, man. You saw what he did to me.
Zander: Look, AJ, I haven't seen you in weeks, ok? Definitely not in any meat locker.
AJ: Well, congratulations. You're officially now one of the bad guys. You do his dirty work, keep your mouth shut so the big boss could sleep at night.

Zander: I won't turn against Sonny.
AJ: Man, if you don't help me, you're just as guilty as Sonny!

AJ: You think this is about pride? This is about Michael. He took my son, Skye. He took my son.

AJ: I love Michael, Skye. I think about him all the time. I miss him so much.
Skye: AJ, I know what it's like to lose someone you love. You know that -- that I lost my adoptive father, Adam, and all the Chandlers.
AJ: I won't lose Michael.
August & September 2001:
 AJ: Tell me your secret. How do you choose? I want to know, Dad. How do you choose which son gets to be the golden boy and the other one gets treated like dirt? What, did you take one look at jason when he was born and say, "this is the golden son?" Take a look at me -- "kid's a loser. He's just like me -- an addict." Did you see that in Skye when she walked through the door? I haven't seen you this upset since you needed a pill. Is that what's going on here? Emily's hurt, Jason's not around to help everyone? Under a lot of stress? Is that the problem? Pharmaceutical urge? Come on. From one addict to another, you can tell me. It's ok.


AJ: If you opened your eyes, you'd see that Sonny is lousy at protecting people! Now, Sorel may be in the hospital dying, but apparently he's leaving behind a few contracts, which you, my son, and Emily are on. What are you going to do about it? And don't tell yourself that Sonny will help because apparently whoever broke into my sister's room tonight doesn't give a damn about Sonny!
Carly: Nice try, but you don't get Michael.
AJ: What are you going to do?
Carly: I'm going to keep him safe.
AJ: Like you have been?

AJ: You know Skye, I wouldn't get yourself so lathered up over Jax. It's a common occurrence with this guy.

AJ: If you're a suspect, it's because of your own track record, Carly. You live with a mobster. And you're a couple cans shy of a six-pack, and you've proved it over and over again. You'll do anything to get what you want.








  
June & July 2001:
 Johnny: He suggests you reconsider.
AJ: Suggests? This ain't my first barbeque, Johnny. I recognize one of Sonny's threats when I hear it.

AJ (to Skye): Nice work. It's fun watching your acting skills grow right before my very eyes.

AJ: Isn't it nice to be in the bosom of the Quartermaines, Skye?
Alan: I want you to stop sniping at her.
AJ: Who, me?

Carly: AJ used to buy me lots of jewelry back when we were married. Didn't help.
Skye: You were married to her?
AJ: Big mistake.
Ned: Big understatement.

Carly: I'm Mrs. Carly Corinthos.
Skye: Well, you certainly do get around, don't you?
AJ: Something we all look for in a mother.

Chloe: Carly, you're getting yourself all upset.
AJ: That's one of the things she does best, at least out of the sack anyway.

AJ: You walked out on Michael when he was a baby.
Carly: I was sick.
AJ: You wanted to go to the beach!

Emily: Look Grandfather, just back off before I give the police that confession that you signed.
Edward: That's blackmail.
AJ: Where do you think she learned it from?
Edward: You.
AJ: Where do you think I learned it from?

Alexis: Carly has sole custody of Michael. She has the right to let the nanny take him on a vacation.
AJ: Yeah, well if you believe that, I have a nice piece of property to sell you.

Carly: Sonny was a better father than you ever were.
AJ: Oh, is that why Michael's on vacation without him?

AJ: You look better.
Emily: You lie.
AJ: Can I help it if you always look good to me?
May 2001:
 AJ: I'm telling you, rescend the stock offer and give her the old heave hoe.
Alan: Nobody's heaving anyone anywhere.

Ned: I remember my first prom. I don't think I got back until midnight.
AJ: Probably couldn't find your date. What'd she do, flag down a semi?

AJ: Is that it?
Emily: Yes.
AJ: Skye? Anything else?
Ned: Since when are you master of ceremonies?

AJ: Enough, Scott. I don't need to pay you for that abuse. I get it free from my family.

Scott: What's this about this grandchild?
AJ: Skye Chandler. My father's most recent illegitimate offspring.

AJ: He's bluffing. This is where we're supposed to grovel.
Ned: I'm in no mood to grovel.
AJ: Take it easy, turbo.

Edward: That woman is a member of this family and she has certain entitlements.
AJ: Yeah, she's entitled to whatever she can snow you into giving her.

Skye: Well, you sure do know the way to his heart.
AJ: At least he has one, which is more than I can say for some people.
Scott: Welcome to the Quartermaines.
AJ: Yeah, right.

Monica: Michael's gone?
AJ: Stolen by that lunatic he calls mommy.

Skye: I thought you would empathize with me, instead you hate me and you want me out.
AJ: That about sums it up, yeah.









  April 2001:
Baby Michael: What's your name?
AJ: My name is AJ, I'm your dad.

AJ: He's my son, I have a right to see him. Back the hell off and take responsibility for losing my son.
Sonny: I was a few feet away.
AJ: You were just far enough away. Just involved enough with your shady lawyer to put my son at risk. You should be thankful Michael came to me and not to one of Sorel's men. You can't protect Michael, Sonny. You're a lowsy father.

AJ (to Sonny): Michael is my son, and there's nothing you can do to change that.

Edward: I'm going up to Lila, the only other sane member of this household.
AJ: There's more than one?

Emily: He was really, really angry at Grandfather. I haven't seen him that upset in a long time.
AJ: Well, you know Grandfather. He has that effect on people. He's like the triple crown of annoyance.

Alan: I want my son to know how much I love him.
AJ: I feel exactly the same.

Emily: Do you think she's telling the truth?
AJ: Well, illegitimate children aren't exactly unheard of in this family.

Skye: I am not the villian here.
AJ: I don't know, you get my vote.

Skye: I don't drink.
AJ: Then you can't be a Quartermaine.

Skye: Let me get this straight. I'm a drunk, so that makes me a real Quartermaine?
AJ: Well put.
Edward: Have you no shame at all?

AJ (to Skye): If you're trying to steal from us, the general idea is to get us to like you first.

March 2001:
 Gia: Actually, it's between me and Elizabeth Webber.
AJ: Oh, please. Elizabeth who? Anyone with the sense that god gave a goose would never let you get away.

Ned: Shouldn't you be falling down drunk by now?
AJ: So she ditched you for a life of crime? Hey, isn't that a first for one of your ex's? No, wait -- you know, if you run like hell from the groom and flag down a semi, do you count that as an ex?

AJ: Highlight of the party - Carly strutting around as queen of deception.
Hannah: Yeah, the title certainly fits, doesn't it?

AJ (to Emily): Well, good news -- you didn't miss a thing. Half the people there were reporters trying to get an interview with Sonny. The other half were women in dresses screaming, "discover me!" Not to mention mom, dad, and grandfather, took one look at Sonny, ran for the door. Sound like fun yet?

AJ: What the hell do I know about running a bar? You guys will still be calling all the shots.
Luke: Let me make this clear for you. Even if I where going to sell it - which I'm not - I wouldn't sell it to you if I trusted you - which I don't.
AJ: Newsflash, your bargaining position is a little weak these days, Spencer.

Roy: It's hard for me to picture you with Carly.
AJ: It was hell, and that's being kind.

Roy: Well, you are his father and they can't take that away.
AJ: Sonny and his clan have tried, believe me.

AJ: So, she's just shutting out the family?
Edward: Can you blame her?
AJ: For not telling you? No.

Edward: Just wait until you have children of your own, then you'll understand.
AJ: I do have a child of my own, Grandfather. His name is Michael and he's your great-grandson. But hey, let's not let a little thing like fact destroy your theory on how I don't know anything about my mother.

AJ: Want to be my sponsor?
Alan: I want to be your father.
AJ: That could work.
Alan: We'll get through this.

AJ: He belongs in this house.
Emily: I don't know about that, AJ
AJ: Well, then he belongs with me.

Monica: Don't listen to your father.
AJ: I haven't for years, don't worry.

Monica: I'm not leaving you, I promise.
AJ: I'm going to hold you to that.

 
January & February 2001:
AJ (to Emily): All righty, then. I guess I'll just have to settle for being your best customer. I'll have a bowl of soup, ginger ale, and expect a huge tip.

AJ: Don't -- don't you look away. No, no, I saw it. You're happy to see me.
Hannah: Maybe I'm just happy to see that you look a little bit better.
AJ: A little? I look great! I'll have you know I've been working out. I walked up the stairs to my penthouse twice this week. Yeah, got to get in shape for our dance.

Hannah: What is it? I don't get it, AJ. Is it the thrill of the chase? I mean, I don't -- I don't get it. Why don't you ever give up?
AJ: You matter to me. You know? I just plain like it better when you're around.

Zander: I knew the nice-guy act wouldn't last.
AJ: You took the words right out of my mouth.

AJ: I never thought I'd say these words. I agree with Grandfather.

Hannah: This shooting has turned Taggert into a completely different person.
AJ: Law-abiding citizens getting mowed down in front of police headquarters tends to do that to you, Hannah.

Hannah: It was you who told me that I shouldn't be with Taggert.
AJ: Who, me?

AJ: Well, I had no idea hell had frozen over.
Ned: Morning, junior. How do you feel about cooperating for once?
AJ: Diplomatic as always. Am I seeing a glimpse of why Alexis scurried off, hmm?
Ned: You want to stand here and fight, or you want to make yourself useful for a change?
AJ: Oh, you're really winning me over, Ned.

AJ: I don't care if he's in his office or not. You leave this message -- "what the hell are you thinking sending my sister to boarding school in California?" And sign it, "your boarding school graduate son, AJ!"

AJ: Yeah, well, I know what it's like to be dumped and watch your parents drive away. And what it feels like to wake up in the middle of the night so scared because you don't know where you are. It's a lousy feeling. And I don't want that for my sister.

Chloe: I tried calling you on your cell phone, I tried calling you at home.
AJ: I don't return calls before noon.

AJ (to Edward): The black sheep. The family loser who rammed his brother into a tree. You see, I know what it's like to get credit for losing a Quartermaine. You want to find out? Come on, go for it. Do it. Bombard the media with Emily's face. A year from now -- hell, a decade from now -- you'll still be holding the AJ Award.

Hannah: I can't believe how you took charge.
AJ: Yeah, well, don't get so excited. I am a Quartermaine, and emotional blackmail comes easy to us, you know?

Lila: Tell me about Agent Scott.
AJ: Like I said, she's the best.
Lila: She seems to appreciate your finer qualities, and you seem to have noticed some of hers.
AJ: Oh, no, no, no, no. Don't you -- don't give me that twinkle. I mean besides, she's -- she's already involved.
Lila: That could change.
AJ: Oh! Cupid now, are we?
November and December 2000:
AJ (to Ned): I guess it is a tradition. Afterall, I was a groomsman in your...1st, 2nd and 4th weddings, was it? You know, they're all hard to keep track of, they all kind of run together. Hey, why stop at 6? Why not sign me up right now to be a groomsman in wedding number 7?

AJ: I'm a prep school guy. Contact sport to me is field hockey.

AJ: You know -- huge, huge, newspaper coverage on the wedding. You know, some people say it's overkill since this is, what, wedding number 6? But, hey, there's no accounting for taste.
Ned: I didn't realize they delivered newspapers in the drunk tank.
AJ: Anyway, 6 weddings, 5 divorces...hmm, I wonder if Vegas is laying odds on how long this one will last, huh?

Edward: I didn't realize you were interested in your sister. She's too young for you to bump into her in a bar.
AJ: That's a nice putdown, grandfather. 3 for content, 5.9 for delivery. But can we move on, please, and concentrate on Emily?

AJ (to Ned): Your bride doesn't want to live here. She's made it perfectly clear. There are those listening skills that alienated five wives. Alexis, are you sure you really want to be number six?

AJ: Grandmother's a party animal.

Emily: AJ, Can't you say anything nice at all?
AJ: I thought I was.
Emily: Well, you need to try a little bit harder.
AJ (to Ned): All right, um -- I wish you -- I wish you all the marital happiness that the rest of the Quartermaines have been blessed with.

Edward: So where's your thug of a husband?
Carly: Sonny is not coming.
AJ: Well, the evening's looking up already.

AJ: Well! Reggie, getting a little action, buddy? Huh?
Reginald: How dare you disrespect Miss Juarez.
AJ: Hey, I'm not the one making the moves in the den here.

 
October 2000:
 AJ: Are you saying I'm not responsible?

Edward: Oh, you sadden me, AJ.
AJ: My mood's getting better already.

AJ (to the Q's): Well, there they are...the lynch mob.

Ned: What are you doing here?
AJ: The bridegroom cometh.
Ned: Why are you dressed like that?
AJ: Well, you're the expert in wedding clothes. What is this, number 6?

Ned: Just go away.
AJ: And leave you without a best man? You know, that hurts me, cousin. That really does.
Ned: It's a small wedding.
AJ: Quartermaines should be represented at such a momentous occasion, especially by someone who's actually a Quartermaine. What's your last name again?

AJ: Personally Sonny, if you had the choice between marrying Carly and doing hard time, you should've opted for the cell. But, hey, may the two of you live to torture each other for years.

AJ: It's not over till it's over, Carly babes.

AJ: Did you know that brunch is the most important meal of the day?

September 2000:
Carly: Good night, Lila.
AJ: Well, well. What's up? Trying to rustle up new living arrangements?

AJ: No, I'd rather stay right here and celebrate the joyous news. Haven't you all heard? The prodigal son has returned.

AJ: Well, didn't you think that i'd be glad to know that my baby-stealing brother was back in town?

AJ: I didn't take Jason away from this family. If he hadn't been in that accident, you'd have screwed him up and driven him out of this house anyway. Only you wouldn't have me to blame for it.

Hannah: AJ, I have some bad news for you. But I want you to remain calm and not do anything crazy, ok?
AJ: It's my brother, isn't it? Somebody finally killed him.

AJ: Well, this is just like old times, isn't it? Jason's in handcuffs, mom and dad at each other's throats, and I'm in the worst shape ever. I need a drink bad.

Alan: Well, at least one person in this family's making sense.
Monica: It certainly isn't you.
AJ: Aren't family reunions the greatest?

AJ: You. Whoa -- hey, superman. Where's Emily?
Jason: Hey, get away from me, AJ. You're drunk.
AJ: This is the thanks I get for getting you out of jail? What have you come up with, huh? No Em. Oh, let Jason do it. He can do anything. And what has the great one turned up so far?

AJ: To my brother, the golden boy, for coming up with the idea that it's just fine to steal my son. Now to his partner in crime, sonny, who continued and expanded on the tradition by stealing not just my son but my wife. And now to the tramp who gave them both permission. In the broadest sense. Broad. Where do i come up with this, huh? To the tramp.










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